I have not one, but two strong-willed children. I readily admit that it's often exhausting, and if I didn't realize their souls are in jeopardy if I don't help them focus their natural tendencies (after all, we must all learn to obey God), I might be tempted to throw up my hands and let them have their way. They. Wear. Me. Out. I, myself, was not a strong-willed child (I was stubborn, but obedient), and while I've read a number of books about raising strong-willed children, none of them has given me insight in my children nearly as much as Kenda, Aaron, and John Smiley's book Journey of a Strong-Willed Child.

First, let's be clear. Despite what some say, not all children are strong-willed. A strong-willed child doesn't just want her way, she wants to be in control of every aspect of her life. As the authors wisely state: "The strong-willed child will choose the stated punishment in order to be in control, especially if the child considers the punishment moderate...A strong-willed child may choose to miss a party, not get dessert, or be sent to his room, because those things are really no big deal. A guilt-ridden parent (this is a false guilt induced by the strong-willed child) is not likely to choose to fight that particular battle again. The child is now running the show. The strong-willed child has chosen a small sacrifice for a big payoff." Wow. My preschooler to a T. So how did the Smiley's get so smart? One day some friends with a strong-willed child visited, seeking advice. Unexpectedly, one of their children (then in college) dropped by. The family friends were shocked when they'd begin telling a story about their strong-willed child and Aaron was easily able to finish the tale. You see, Aaron had unique insight into the strong-willed child. It hadn't been so long ago that he was one. It's Aaron's insights that make this book truly unique and helpful. Two other gems I found particularly helpful: * Strong-willed children usually have a black and white sense of right and wrong, justice and injustice. Often, their strong-willed tendencies are magnified if they think someone has been wronged. In fact, if they were adults, and we shared their sense of justice, we'd be cheering them on as heros! * All children appreciate honesty from adults, answers like "I don't know, but let's find out." But strong-willed children are especially appreciative. In fact, strong-willed children can spot an immature adult from a mile away - and will try to assert themselves over him or her. The book is divided into chapters covering the various stages of childhood: birth to pre-K, Kindergarten to 6th grade, Jr. High, High School, and College. In each chapter, mom Kendra discusses pertinent points for parents, such as consistencies in disciple, helping your child make his strong-willed nature an asset, and (as a parent) keeping encouraged. Next, former strong-willed child Aaron adds his own, unique insights. Finally, dad John offers a little extra parental wisdom. Although there is some how-to information included (like how to cope with teachers who don't understand strong-willed kids, how to prevent sibling rivalry when you have a strong-willed child, and so on), I find this book is especially useful as a guide to how your strong-willed child thinks. The focus in on the long-term picture: Helping your child to Christ - and to a productive, content life. This book is encouraging, insightful, eye-opening, and liberating. I highly recommend it.