6 Ways to Stop Yelling

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

Judging by the blog posts and parenting magazine articles I've read lately, most parents yell at their kids sometimes. I'm not talking horrible, abusive words here, but of raising voices when tempers flare. And while many parents say it's because their kids won't listen otherwise, or because they disobey too much, or because they just plain make their parents crazy, let's face it: It's really not because of the kids. It's because of the parent. 

 Here are some ideas to try to change yourself from a parent who yells to one who doesn't: 

 1. Pray, pray, pray. Only God can change our hearts, if we let him. Submitting ourselves completely to God is the single most important way someone can leave yelling behind. Praying specifically about this issue at times when you're more likely to yell is also smart. 

 2. Admit you're wrong. For God to change us, we must be humble. Humble not only before God, but before our children. Always ask your children's forgiveness if you raise your voice.  

3. Play Christian music. If I know my kids and I will be doing something high stress (like picking up toys, which is a real battle in our house), I turn on Christian music. It really does help to mellow us all out. 

 4. Give yourself time outs. Most kids understand what a time out is. When you feel like you might yell, say instead, "Mommy's having a time out." Then go to your bedroom (or other private place) and shut the door. Then pray and breathe deeply. For this to work, however, you'll have to talk to your kids about it before you need a time out. This conversation might go something like this: "You know sometimes Mommy yells when she shouldn't. So next time I feel like I might yell, I'm giving myself a time out. I will go into my bedroom and shut the door. You will need to not follow me, talk to me, or knock on the door. I will take a few minutes to cool off and collect myself. When I come out of my room, I'll be in a much better mood."  

5. Instead of yelling, try whispering. This doesn't work with my kids, but many moms say it works wonders.  

6. Instead of yelling, sing. This one works well for us. Sometimes I just sing a very high note as loud as I can. This lets out tension, gets my kids' attention, and them laugh. Sometimes I sing my instructions or corrections to the kids - and this, also, relieves tension all around. They like it best when I sing like an outlandish opera singer.  

Do you have tips for ending the yelling in your house?

1 comment

  1. Thanks for the tips! I love your tip about singing. It made me LOL! :) My kids are 3, 2, and 1 so we're still trying to figure out what works but they love it when I sing to them!